Just DO it!

So I've made it my goal to try and blog at least a couple of times a week. I need to keep track of my children's steps in life, the good and the bad. I have learned a lot from reading other people's blogs that things happen and I just need to deal with it and move on. I think that is what has stopped me from blogging in the past was the not so good times, but I'm over that now. I will be 33(OMGoodness) in less than a month and what have I done with my life??? I really don't remember, because I don't stop to think about it. I NEED to. I need to take a step back sometimes and re-evaluate my life experiences and my dreams. I need to stop and listen to my children, even when they are all speaking to me at the same time. I need to appreciate my husband more, even when he's gone all day. I need to take care of my health, because there is only one ME! So that is what I will be doing this year. Learning and growing. Listening and doing. It's so simple to write, but very difficult to do. So 2012...my word for the year is "DO" and my motto is "Just DO it!" Here I come!!!

Many changes...

Last week I started training at Jetblue, joined a biggest loser competition and stopped eating chocolate..OMGoodness! Working after 6 years of being a stay at home mom was a HUGE change for me and my family. I miss, miss, miss my kids/hubby so, so, so much! I sit and think at certain times of the night what they are doing, eating, who is watching who and how is my working affecting their lives. I work from 4pm-midnight which is straining just thinking about it...lol. I am grateful for the opportunity that I have to teach my children that life isn't easy and that we have to make some sacrifices in order to endure to the end. I pray that they will understand that this is only temporary, because the lovely thing about Jetblue is that after training I get to work from home! Yes, bonus for all of us.
The biggest loser competition is such a great motivator for me. I eat only 1700 calories or less a day. The interesting thing is that I don't EVER feel hungry. I know that working and prioritizing my time plays a big part in my eating. I am so busy that I don't even really think about food as often as I used to. I do think about what I'm putting into my body though, before I eat and if I don't make a good choice, I let myself feel the consequences and move on. I don't dwell on it and continue beating myself up over it like I used to.
The choice to cut out chocolate was a smart move on my part...lol. Chocolate is my BIGGEST WEAKNESS! I absolutely love chocolate. I had to have it everyday or I thought my head was gonna explode. In training we get chocolate all the time. Every day I come home with at least 3 mini candy bars and Gabby knows just where to find them in my bag. I told myself before training that I would not eat chocolate and it's been a 6 days today, and guess what??? NO CHOCOLATE.
These changes have been a sacrifice, but a great blessing. I am helping my family financially and physically. I have leaned on the Lord throughout these past few weeks for strength and He has continually blessed me. I am in a happy place and I LOVE it!!

My motivator...

This past Saturday I joined Sinai's biggest loser competition with my friend Lashell, who is our ward YW Pres. We have both been trying to lose weight for a while now. She has lost 50lbs, but gained some of it back. And I've only lost 6lbs in 2 months. I had a lack of motivation and have been trying to figure out how to find my mojo...lol. Well my husband joined a biggest loser competition with a group of friends and came in 2nd place. He lost 30 lbs!! Isn't that great. He was so focused and determined to not only lose the weight, but to make it a lifestyle change. He basically cut rice out of his daily routine and cut down his portion sizes. Instead of eating 3 plates of food...seriously, he ate 2 and eventually got it down to 1. He learned to love salad, and became creative with how he fixed dinner. He also joined a basketball team to make exercising FUN!
I am so excited that he has made this change and is continuing to lose another 30 lbs, because he is not in the best health. He has realized that in order to live a long life, you need to be healthy and put yourself first.
He has been by greatest cheerleader since I've started trying to lose weight. Sometimes he gets on my nerves with his motivation, but I have to learn to love it, even though I secretly HATE it. I mean who likes someone telling them, "um are you sure you want to eat that?" Ugghh shut it! LOL It is for the best, I understand that now. I'm grateful to have him by my side cheering me on. Here we go....see you at the finish line!!!
PS. He won't let me take a picture of him so that you can see his before and after...lol.

12 years!

I cannot believe that 12 years ago today I had my Serena Angelaite Lealao. That day changed my life FOREVER! She has not once ceased to amaze me from her beauty to her nosey questions...LOL. Serena has grown into a beautiful young woman. I am so honored to call her my daughter. Serena likes list. So for her birthday blog, I'm going to list 12 qualities I admire about her:

1-She knows and loves the Lord with all her heart.
2-She has taught me more about being a mother than any of my children. (obviously)
3-She loves her family (aunts, uncles, cousins included) unconditionally!
4-She is an amazing missionary. (don't talk down about the Church around her)
5-She is not afraid to speak her mind when she feels you are wrong.
6-She is very modest and would let you know when you are not...LOL.
7-She is one of the most gorgeous nerds I know. haha
8-She has been waiting patiently for this day to come, because she will be a YW!
9-She has learned to fight through her fear of basketball.
10-She is my biggest cheerleader.
11-She loves to read and read and read and question and question and question.
12-She is just like me...lol!

I love you Serena so very much. You are my oldest because you proved to the Lord that you have the gift of responsibility, will protect your siblings like a soldier, and love mommy and daddy unconditionally! I'm so grateful to have you in my life Serena. HAPPY 12TH BIRTHDAY, my beautiful young woman.

A work in progress...

Wow, I didn't realize that I hadn't posted for over a month. Well I'm still working at it. I slipped a couple of times though. I have the working out for 30mins a day, 5days a week down. But the changing of my eating habits will be a tough one. Starting May will be the beginning of my new life. I need to STOP lying to myself about food and just know that it will always be there, but I can't have it for a while. I will stop eating white foods (rice, bread and pasta) and chocolate I will only eat in moderation. I need to slap myself for being weak and losing control of my life, seriously. Hey it's better now than never, right??! Just keep moving....

Overcoming Emotional Eating

(FYI, I was pregnant in this picture)
I AM AN EMOTIONAL EATER! I have somewhat known that, but was in denial. Bob Greene's book has taught me how to figure out what my triggers are and how to overcome them. I've learned that sleep is a very important part of my health and that the loss of it causes weight gain and overeating. I've learned that writing down everything I eat will help me to take responsibility for what goes and out of my body. I am learning something new about my body daily and it's kind of fascinating. There are a lot of steps to understanding emotional eating and I pray that I can eventually overcome it.

S.O.R.E.

I am sooooooo SORE! I am told that after you workout and you're sore, it's a good thing. Ummm, are you serious? I've never been this SORE before, yet I've never been this determined either. Right now, I need a spa massage, a couple of hours in a jacuzzi and a looonnnggg nap. My "pretend personal trainer" off of the EA Active is so hard on me...LOL! But the workout is very fun, so it doesn't feel as if I'm working out, it's more of a competition, which I LOVE. I've lost another 2 pounds...yay! My goal is becoming more and more real. Bob Greene is slowly helping me to break down my barriers. It's all in the mind, literally. Once you have made up your mind, like seriously made up your mind, nothing can stop you. Unfortunately my mind hasn't stopped my chocolate cravings. That is my biggest barrier..ugghh and it totally annoys me that I can't JUST SAY NO! Please pray for me or send me ways that I could get past this addiction. Thank you!! :) Here's to 100+ more days of being SORE...wish me luck!

Just keep moving...

Yes! I lost 2 pounds last week, just from working out. Imagine if I ate better, how much I would've lost...LOL! But I am proud of myself and I'm on track with my life change. Today I started EA Active 2 with the WII and it's pretty intense. At first I was like, okay this is nothing and then they had me jumping rope, playing basketball while lunging and dirt bike racing and I was the bike. There are pros and cons working out with the WII, but I can't deny that it was a workout indeed! I am also more and more aware of what I put in my mouth and how it affects my body. Which is one of Bob Greene's challenges. It makes me think twice sometimes before I eat. I'm liking the beginning stages of the new me. A plus to my working out, is that Sol has joined a "Biggest Loser" competition with a group of his friends. He lost 8 pounds in a week,(so unfair) and is a great example/motivator for me. I'm grateful that we are changing our lives for the best. Our children need us and we need us. As long as I keep moving daily, my life will become what I want it to be!!

As a side note: Juniors team took 2nd place in his All-County league tournament and Jasmines, Jazzy Girls team, took the Championship in their PARA league basketball tournament! I am so proud of my kids and for their dedication to their love of basketball. Serena and Jas took 2ND in their school science fairs. And Jasmine took 3rd in the district. So now off to State! Ebony won a principals award in reading. I'm so proud of my lil children!! Wooowhooo!!

Day 4...136 days to go!

Yesterday, as well as today, so far were wonderful days. I worked out for an hour and it felt sooooo good. I didn't even realize I was working out for so long because I was reading while doing the elliptical. Once I get to reading nothing else matters. So I found my secret to working out...reading!! Yay me...lol! But I am slowing become more and more aware of what I'm eating and how I feel after I eat. I haven't stopped eating the not so good foods, but I don't eat as much of it. I don't want to burn myself out by exercising and dieting at the same time. So first I want to get myself moving and eventually the food part will come. I love Bob Greene's book. He is teaching me that we as humans have barriers that stop us from living our best life. That is so true. So he is challenging me to break down the barriers and love myself! Things are starting to look up and I'm hoping that it just keeps going up from here!! Here's to tomorrow...

Day 2...138 days to go!

Today was not a good day. I don't even want to post what I ate. But I do want to talk about the book I bought today. It's Bob Greene's book titled The Life You Want: Get Motivated, Lose Weight, and Be Happy. I just started reading it and I love it. I knew that in order for me to lose weight and keep it off, I needed to motivate myself and to really know why I turn to food for comfort.

Here is my favorite excerpt from his book so far: "Many people who don't triumph at weight loss beat themselves up without taking into consideration that humans are predisposed to eat as much fat and sugar as possible to conserve our energy and to avoid discomfort-all of which contribute to the difficulty of changing eating and exercise habits. The truth is, there are some things about your physiology that you can't change, and a natural propensity to seek pleasure is one of them.
What you can change, however, is what gives you pleasure as well as your tolerance for discomfort."

I have come to realize that I need to change my pleasure of eating all types of chocolate to mainly dark chocolate and my tolerance for it as well. This will take a looooooooooong time. But I know I can do it and I pray that I eventually will be able to do without my DAILY chocolate fix. On to another day...goodnight~

Day 1...139 days to go!

Today is the first day of my life change and I wasn't too prepared. I stayed out late last night and woke up way too early this morning. I took a nap in the afternoon which left me feeling like crap. I hate when I do this and knew that when I succumbed to the nap, that that would be my consequence. Anyways this was my menu for the day:

Breakfast-
1 cookie
1 fruit snack pack
6 strawberries w/ about a 1/2 cup of cream cheese dip
water
Lunch-
1 meat pie
1/2 cup crab salad
water
Snack-
2 oatmeal raisin cookies
Dinner-
1 chicken thigh
1 slice of wheat bread (my new favorite bread)
water
Dessert-
6 strawberries w/ 1/2 cup of cream cheese dip

Workout:
30 mins on the elliptical (woowhoo finally after 2 months!)

I know, I know, not such a great start for my first day, but it can only get better. On a side note, I actually did couponing today (LOVE IT) and saved 63%. All in all the weather today was beautiful and my goal was not so beautiful. So on to a better day tomorrow. Good night!

20 weeks...140 days...50 lbs to lose....thats my goal!

So I have been doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING since Christmas day this past year. I have been content to just sit around, surf the net, and literally do NOTHING! I have been asking myself lately, why? Why have I been so lazy and so unmotivated to do anything? Am I depressed, am I sick, am I missing something in my life or do I just love food and being fat? I came to the conclusion that I'm literally just burnt out and I need a break. A break from the hustle and bustle or life. A break from the norm or what people perceive as the norm. I just needed to find me...and I did. I am taking a class in leadership ( I love learning) I got a job (I haven't worked in 5 years) and I stopped shopping compulsively (This was huge for me). Basically I've come to realize that I'm 32 years old and that I need to start loving myself. I was married young and had kids right after. So the years that were "supposedly" set aside for me to find my purpose in life, were laid out for me with no searching to be found. I am a wife and mother (which I love) but I am not me. I am not Marcia Motuliki anymore. I became Marcia Lealao and I lost myself. Just because my "purpose" changed, doesn't mean that I needed to change everything else about me...but I did. I lost my identity! So how do I find this lost identity??? By doing exactly what I did...ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
I just listened to my body, my mind, my spirit. I really talked to myself and really for the first time in years, looked at myself, literally (and it wasn't too cute...LOL). And I didn't like what I heard or seen. So I've come to realize that now, Marcia Lealao's purpose is HAPPINESS. I know it sounds so cliche' but that's all that matters right? Like the saying goes, "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." That seriously is my life. During my absolutely nothing stage, I seen the impact I have on my family. I apologize for their unhappiness because it was largely due to me. I am their #1 example. I am who my children look up to, admire and strive to be like. Do I want them to be like me...NO not right now. But that's the lovely thing about the gospel that I live. Repentance/forgiveness is the key to happiness. I make a mistake, I repent, ask for forgiveness and move on...
And so here I am spilling my guts out on this blog admitting to all of you and especially to myself that it's time for a change in my life. Because once it is written there is no turning back, I've got to follow through with actions now. Here are my goals:
1. GET HEALTHY
2. SMILE FROM WITHIN
3. BECOME IN TUNED WITH MY SPIRIT
In doing these 3 things I will gain happiness. I am giving myself 20 weeks, 140 days to lose 50 lbs or fat, stress, guilt, and unhappiness. In doing so I want to gain a healthier perspective on life and one that gives me purpose. A life that is filled with doing ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING for me and my happiness! Which in turn will only make my family happier!
This temporary goal begins on March 1st and ends July 23rd. I will try to write about my progress daily. Wish me luck!! New me here I come....

32!

Today my husband of 12 years turns 32. He is not one to celebrate his birthday, so every year I try to keep it mellow. He and a friend put together a basketball team last year and he just loves them to death. Sometimes I feel he loves them more than me. LOL (seriously though) Well being that his birthday fell on a Sunday this year, I took donuts to their basketball game yesterday and told all the parents and the other coach, Mani, that I would like the girls to sing Happy Birthday to Sol. So after the girls won a very competitive game 11-10, we all went in the hall so that Mani and Sol could have their little pep talk that they give after the games. The girls moved in to huddle and Mani didn't let Sol come into the huddle. He was telling the girls that on 3 they were to start singing, and that's exactly what they did! It was so cute. Solomon had no idea. He was so embarrassed and even blushed...ahahaha. I loved seeing his reaction. I was upset with myself, because I didn't even take pictures of any of it. Oh well, it's one of those memorable moments.
Solomon is a very hard working man. He works 2 jobs, goes to school full-time, and coaches 2 basketball teams, he is a great father and friend to me. I love this man and want to thank him for all that he does for our family. Happy Birthday Sol "Dear" I LOVE YOU!!